- Ghost tours are a costly way to hear ghost stories and in general are disappointing rip-offs. They are not staffed by benevolent Roto-Rooter men. Every spot in the entire town of Savannah is haunted so just buy a book or watch TAPS.
- Cobblestone streets will turn an ankle in a heartbeat.
- If you eat more than two pecan pralines you will instantly become diabetic.
- Never trust the valet at your hotel with the keys to your wife's prized automobile even if they only charge $12 bucks a day. "You #$%@ well better have our keys in that cabinet!"
- 100 degrees in Georgia is "dang hot!" It is however, a "wet heat."
And finally, a word to any budding entrepreneurs from the state of South Carolina. Ditch the fireworks stand and open a gas station restroom cleaning service. Apparently, they do not have any.