FlyfishMag Redux: Ten Ways to Ruin a Fishing Friendship

Ten Ways to Ruin a Fishing Friendship
By Jeff Paisley

1. Don’t tell your friend that you bought a new boat until he sees you pass him on the river. Be sure to wave.
   
2. Don’t share your flies with him because you know he will just lose them anyway.
   
3. Tell him to meet you at 8:00 am but start fishing at 7:30.
   
4. Don’t let him know what fly they are taking until you have a least a five fish lead.
   
5. When his boat capsizes, don’t help him out of the water until you get plenty of pictures.
   
6. Don’t console your friend when he breaks off the “fish of a lifetime” until you catch it and can give him back his fly.
   
7. Make fun of him on his answering machine when his wife won’t let him go fishing.
   
8. Buy a new truck just so he won’t recognize you on the river.
   
9. Give your buddy the best spot on the river then cast to the trout rising just behind him (catching one at his feet will really make this more effective).
   
10. On the way to the river, buy your buddy breakfast at a nasty fast food restaurant with a porta-jon out front, just so you can get some alone time on the water later while he runs for the bushes. (Mexican restaurants work even better if available.)