Thursday, March 01, 2007
Elements of Style
You still remember it as if it had happened just yesterday. You were a wet behind the ears college kid working in the mail room of Mega-Corp, schlepping around hundreds of pounds of corporate memo propaganda from one office to the next while you waited for your big break.
You saw the big corporate muckety-mucks with their executive restrooms and private parking spaces, slinking off to "business meetings" in exotic locations around the globe in their corporate jets. You knew deep down that they had nothing on you. Nothing but a Harvard MBA and an expense account twice the size of your yearly income that is.
Then one day it all changed. You were delivering the day's TPS reports when you happened by the door of the VP of Marketing. He was shouting into his telephone about things like market penetration and brand identity. Sales were slumping and the brand was suffering from a less than sterling reputation. He needed a plan and he needed it now.
Without even missing a beat you reach into your jacket pocket and produce the one vice that your meager salary will allow. A cigar. But this was no ordinary cigar, instead it was a hand rolled personalized Thompson Cigar that you ordered affixed with your own personal logo "The Crippled Trout." The Veep's eyes widened as you twirled the cigar above the flame of your match until the end glowed the same cherry red as the stove in your one room hovel does when you have money for a lump or two of coal. "What's that?" he exclaimed. You explained that Thompson Cigars could easily imprint Mega-Corp's logo onto the band of a premium hand rolled cigar. The cigars could be given to potential customers making the Mega-Corp brand synonymous with only the finer things in life.
The marketing guy scratched his head and took it all in before dismissing you back to your postal dungeon. Later that month you saw a memo under a stack of interoffice envelopes congratulating the VP for turning around the Mega-corp brand with his innovative "Cigar Initiative."
Oh well you thought, such is the lot in life of the mail clerk. At least the VP's trophy wife would enjoy the big fat bonus he got for your idea and the new jewelery he bought her put her in an excellent mood when you picked her up for your weekly rendezvous later that evening.
Use the link below to purchase your very own custom hand rolled cigars from the Thompson Cigar Company. Be quick about it, the mail clerk is always just a step behind you.